rivulets of the mind

via Daily Prompt: Rivulet

A rivulet is a small stream.   A rivulet is to a river as a baby is to an adult.   a natural body of running water flowing on or under the earth.  Vocabulary.com

Rivulets converge into rivers.  Its similar in the mind.  Tiny fibers join to carve paths, rivulets, and rivulets join to become even more powerful, even faster.  this is the basis for the notions of  “what fires together, wires together”  and mindless lapses.

thoughts, patterns, patterns of thought.  I will always be learning to see them.    Even now, do i really see my patterns as much as i think i do?

In this life,  I have created and abandoned many rivulets.  I know every time I repeat a behavior, it is reinforced.  that I am actively cultivating more automatic moves.  Mind is trying to adapt, help me out, let me become mindless [think: driving a car].  Mind aspires to efficiency and amuses itself practicing prediction, that feeds into establishing efficiency .  How can I harness that capability  for the life I am creating?  how to use with respect?  this is the fast, really fast, part of the human nervous system.  The part that gets its start with the details, loving the steps of the process, which almost seems like an oxymoron — the fast nervous system wiring is fueled at the start anyway, by details, following some sequence of steps.   It is not interested in the big picture.

Rivulets that allow us to function and appear as normal beings.  Aware even.  How is it then that i can read something i wrote 5 years ago, and not recognize it as mine?  Was i in a rivulet? or am i just somebody so unconnected to who i was 5 years ago?

Thinking:  I used to do yoga everyday, why did i stop?  I should do yoga today.  I think I will start again tomorrow.  I will start a new rivulet; maybe it is a reopening of a rivulet.

Each tomorrow night unfolds as i realize i have been in the same automatic  rivulet again; disappointing myself.  I chose how to use each of the moments.  and then the disappointment and sadness rivulets start.  Tunnel vision.  I can only see what i have not done and what i have not done right.  I missed out on something i wanted.  the rivulets merge and then it is a really big river of feeling sad.  I will not quit.  I can start again.  Try again.  remember – it took hundreds of tries before the light bulb was invented.  Look at each rivulet development as an experiment.  Separate from me.

I am hopeful I can forge many new rivulets in the moments ahead.  I think its important to have an image of what life will look like, especially what i will feel like, when I establish this new rivulet, a baby rivulet.  that might be like a drop of water.  I will start with the first step.   what rivulet am i going to cultivate?

 

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Tuesday 1.10.16

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Sunrise, Biddeford pool, 5 days ago, Beauty on a frigid January morning

 

Working on:

  • Week 1 of Heart and Soul with Olga Furman.  Great practice with portraits this week, honestly quite frustrating at times.  Sunday i sketched the people on the talk shows, only paused it a few times.  they actually look somewhat like the real people ))) and i pushed myself to move more quickly.  this is progress for me.
  • 3 panels, 12×16″, showing the effect of pause or rest in the composition; as in life, most of us need pauses no matter the stimulation.  Tremendous benefit. try it.

Exploring:

  • The Noah Webster Dictionary from 1940, a 5×4″ “Handy Edition”.  I love the Reference material at the end.  Correct English, rules for punctuation, and Mythological and classical names caught by attention this morning.
    • who knew Marsyas, God of nature, was flayed alive.  For competing with Apollo, on the flute????
  • Inspiration for 3 panel piece on Pausing
    • Painted pages, Sarah Ahearn
    • Alphabetica, Lyyne Perrella
  • Relaxing breathing technique and Presence
  • Classical stretch, PBS, Miranda White, Feels Wonderful!

 

Just hatched:

When looking for sunrise photo, saw this NY Times headline from 2012,

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The idea to write one love letter every month popped into my mind! not sure, would it be to my self?  It is a chance to practice self compassion, an active and honest self care behavior that increases self confidence.  Self compassion is:  Mindfulness, self-kindness instead of self-judgements, and widening our lens to see our self as ‘like’ other people in that others suffer too.

From Kristin Neff’s Website:

We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time

When confronted with personal failings….You may try to change in ways that allow you to be more healthy and happy, but this is done because you care about yourself, not because you are worthless or unacceptable as you are.

 

If you want more info on Kristin Neff and self-compassion click  here

I think i will write one letter a month, during the last week of the month, to my future self, reflecting on the month. noticing  any patterns or significant events, and how i remember the process of growing into a Real Artist with a capital A.

I just realized as i wrote that last sentence, that i have a belief that i will feel like a real artist, capital A, when i sell something.  But is that really true?  maybe not.consider this.

Anyhow, if you are interested in writing letters to your future self, this is a great story of a 25 yo who received his 15 yo letter to future self, click here.

December

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Very cold in Maine – below zero a few days ago, now in the 40’s and raining.  Such a great time to hibernate, write, and paint.  And lots of dog kisses.)))


What I found this week a.k.a. The Discovery Tour of Life

 

You Tube:  T.A.N.G.O.Dancing Mindfulness Style – a 6 minute taster by creator Jamie Marich.  Even if you have no interest in Tango-ing, its a great get-up-from-your-chair-and-move-for-5-minutes prompt with energetic Tango music.


School of Life.com:  From website description:  The School of Life is devoted to developing emotional intelligence through the help of culture. We address such issues as how to find fulfilling work, how to master the art of relationships, how to understand one’s past, how to achieve calm, and how better to understand and, where necessary change, the world.

I fully enjoy their videos even though I don’t always agree.  Most are less than 10 minutes and there is a plethora of  pertinent topics.  They are fast paced enough and done in such a style that even teens would enjoy as well.


Still painting, female figures, some nude, on abstract backgrounds in Abstract Painting 2, the online course with Pauline Agnew.  Fantastic teacher and class — I always get so much from her courses.  Thank you Pauline !!


 

I’m Back )))))

now that the blog craze is moving on, at least that is what i have heard, here i am again.  sort of like quitting smoking — just keep trying if it is still important and you just might start something.  maybe i am an optimist.

yesterday go past the hurdle of starting my web page at Wellcoach — certified in December.  Very happy, very happy with that.

 

Today reading, writing, listing, etc.

Most significant musing of the morning while reading the introduction to jean wells book Intuitive Color and Design

My aunt Alice once told me that the most cherished friendship is not only one in which you enjoy time spent together—talking, sharing, and laughing—but also one in which you inspire each other, challenge each other, and find that you are taking creative journeys within yourself thanks to the influence of the other.

Wells, Jean (2010-11-05). Intuitive Color & Design: Adventures in Art Quilting

 

My question:  would this not be a good approach for marriage or most relationships?

 

I leave for today with this photo of my latest work in progress

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When.  oil, pastel, graphite, collage, acrylic on canvas — 16″x20″

One last thing…..

“We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share.This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.”

— Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist